Joke - 63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop
Mantisoft - Creating websites
  • Back Home
  • New Jokes
  • Top Rated
  • The Index!
  • Newest Media
  • iTube - Hot Videos
  • Submit A Joke
 
Weekly Column by Jason Love

A collection of Standup video shows Cool and Funny T-Shirts This site is part of the Umbrella Duck Network! Our Experts will answer any Question! Try Us!

7 out of 305 answered

 
Charts:

 Best Jokes
 Most Popular
 20 Best Writers
 Best Videos
 Best Flash
 Top Rated Comics

Games:

 Game Portal!

Comics :

 SnapshotsDaily
 Frenetic Wander...Daily
 New Comics

Weekly Columns:

 SoItGoes - Jason Love

Important Links:

 Our Poll Archive
 The Billy-Bob Show
 Forums
 Newest Videos
 Newest Flash Files
 Free Wallpapers
 Happy Tree Friends

Featured:

 UmbrellaDuck.net
 Linkook - Shorter URL's
 Biblical Hebrew Online
 Funny videos
 Learn Hebrew Phrase
 Karma Game

The BB Daily Show
click for the BillyBob daily show.



Categories :

 Blond
 All about sex
 Nature and Pets
 Bars, Pubs and Drunks
 Sports
 Real Life Laws
 Secret Diary
 Real Life Stories
 Special Lists
 Light Bulbs
 Doctors
 Wild-wild West
 Country and Farms
 FAQ and Riddles
 Couples and Family
 Biblical Times
 At Work
 Love!
 Computers
 Insults
 Sick Jokes
 On the Road / In the Air
 Fairy Tales and Angles
 Religion - Christianity
 Religion - Judaism
  All Categories

63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop
63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.

4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if you can see his gun.

6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him by his first name.

11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.

12. When he says no, cry.

13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.

14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.

15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.

16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.

17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"

18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.

19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."

20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.

21. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.

22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"

23. Trip and fall into him.

24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.

25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.

26. Chew on the pen, nervously.

27. Clean your ear with the pen.

28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.

29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....

30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.

31. Act like you are retarded.

32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.

33. Mumble to yourself.

34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?

35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......

36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.

37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!

38. Ask if he watches Cops.

39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.

40. Giggle if he did.

41. Talk to your hand.

42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.

43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.

44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.

45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.

46. Try to sell him your car.

47. Ask if you can buy his car.

48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.

49. Play with the siren.

50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.

51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner

52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.

53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.

54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.

55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.

56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.

57. Turn your head and whistle.

58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.

59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.

60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.

61. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"

62. Tell him you like men in uniform.

63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party

  was added by jay 3 years, 3442 days ago and was read 9,478 times

Please Rate:
Ranked 2.99 out of 5 smilies

Share with Others


More jokes in Special Lists
Random Joke
Does your organization struggle with the problem of properly fitting people to jobs? Here is a handy hint for ensuring success in job placement.

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two ch...
Random Joke
What do you call a donkey with three legs?

A wonkey!...
IT's all GEEKZ to me
By Chaz Wood
IT‘s all GEEKZ to me - by Chaz Wood
”The Eternal Mystery“

Stan 'N' Isaac
By Jeff Swenson
Stan n Isaac - by Jeff Swenson
”Sensitive Bones“

bigger is better
”Noha's Ark“


funny comic strip in print
First Cynic Comic Strip
collection now in print.
Buy it now for
below retail.

Statistics
Joke Writers : 6664
Surfer Comments : 4635
Forum Messages : 20
Total Jokes : 15953
Waiting Jokes : 14469

 
Web
2Laugh.com



Add to Google

Add to Netvibes

Bookmark and Share

New Videos
iPad Air 2 Bend Test
Play Video

was viewed 15764 times
(1310 days ago)

Videos
Play Video

was viewed 13787 times
(1380 days ago)

Biggest Snakes in the World! SnakeBytesTV
Play Video

was viewed 15357 times
(1488 days ago)

Mission: Impurrrsible
Play Video

was viewed 11396 times
(1499 days ago)


Videos
Play Video

was viewed 7399 times
(1535 days ago)

Kitten Refuses to Leave Warm Bath!
Play Video

was viewed 11682 times
(1821 days ago)

Star Trek TNG Season 3 Gag Reel
Play Video

was viewed 16631 times
(1849 days ago)

Lily loves her treat
Play Video

was viewed 7984 times
(1962 days ago)

Messi 91 GOALS in 2012
Play Video

was viewed 16599 times
(1978 days ago)




Copyright © 2004-2012 2Laugh.com - Humor and Jokes Portal. All Rights Reserved. Powered by Mantisoft.com | contact us | advertise with us | RSS