Joke - Taking care of the wife
Mantisoft - Creating websites
  • Back Home
  • New Jokes
  • Top Rated
  • The Index!
  • Newest Media
  • iTube - Hot Videos
  • Submit A Joke
 
Weekly Column by Jason Love

A collection of Standup video shows Cool and Funny T-Shirts This site is part of the Umbrella Duck Network! Our Experts will answer any Question! Try Us!

7 out of 1309 answered

 
Charts:

 Best Jokes
 Most Popular
 20 Best Writers
 Best Videos
 Best Flash
 Top Rated Comics

Games:

 Game Portal!

Comics :

 SnapshotsDaily
 Frenetic Wander...Daily
 New Comics

Weekly Columns:

 SoItGoes - Jason Love

Important Links:

 Our Poll Archive
 The Billy-Bob Show
 Forums
 Newest Videos
 Newest Flash Files
 Free Wallpapers
 Happy Tree Friends

Featured:

 UmbrellaDuck.net
 Linkook - Shorter URL's
 Biblical Hebrew Online
 Funny videos
 Learn Hebrew Phrase
 Karma Game

The BB Daily Show
click for the BillyBob daily show.



Categories :

 Blond
 All about sex
 Nature and Pets
 Bars, Pubs and Drunks
 Sports
 Real Life Laws
 Secret Diary
 Real Life Stories
 Special Lists
 Light Bulbs
 Doctors
 Wild-wild West
 Country and Farms
 FAQ and Riddles
 Couples and Family
 Biblical Times
 At Work
 Love!
 Computers
 Insults
 Sick Jokes
 On the Road / In the Air
 Fairy Tales and Angles
 Religion - Christianity
 Religion - Judaism
  All Categories

Taking care of the wife
In the world, one single rule applies to the men: Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

-- You make the bed (+1)
-- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
-- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
-- You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
-- In the rain (+8)
-- But return with Beer (-5)
-- You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
-- You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
-- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
-- You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
-- It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

-- You stay by her side the entire party (0)
-- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
-- Named Tina (-4)
-- Tina is a dancer (-10)

HER BIRTHDAY

-- You take her out to dinner (0)
-- You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
-- Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
-- And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3)
-- It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

-- You take her to a movie (+2)
-- You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
-- You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
-- You take her to a movie you like (-2)
-- It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
-- You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE

-- You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
-- You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
-- You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
-- You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

-- She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
-- You hesitate in responding (-10)
-- You reply, "Where?" (-35)
-- Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

-- When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned _____expression (0)
-- You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
-- You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
-- She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

  was added by HotGod 3 years, 1352 days ago and was read 7,396 times

Please Rate:
Ranked 2.92 out of 5 smilies

Share with Others


More jokes in Special Lists
Random Joke
The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the Federal Government. Tha...
Random Joke
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?


A: By the buckle print on her forehead....
IT's all GEEKZ to me
By Chaz Wood
IT‘s all GEEKZ to me - by Chaz Wood
”The Eternal Mystery“

Stan 'N' Isaac
By Jeff Swenson
Stan n Isaac - by Jeff Swenson
”Sensitive Bones“

bigger is better
”Illegal Fireworks“


funny comic strip in print
First Cynic Comic Strip
collection now in print.
Buy it now for
below retail.

Statistics
Joke Writers : 6676
Surfer Comments : 12864
Forum Messages : 20
Total Jokes : 16116
Waiting Jokes : 14632

 
Web
2Laugh.com



Add to Google

Add to Netvibes

Bookmark and Share

New Videos
iPad Air 2 Bend Test
Play Video

was viewed 32911 times
(1915 days ago)

Videos
Play Video

was viewed 27345 times
(1985 days ago)

Biggest Snakes in the World! SnakeBytesTV
Play Video

was viewed 29281 times
(2093 days ago)

Mission: Impurrrsible
Play Video

was viewed 23538 times
(2104 days ago)


Videos
Play Video

was viewed 19896 times
(2140 days ago)

Kitten Refuses to Leave Warm Bath!
Play Video

was viewed 19216 times
(2426 days ago)

Star Trek TNG Season 3 Gag Reel
Play Video

was viewed 30633 times
(2454 days ago)

Lily loves her treat
Play Video

was viewed 14945 times
(2567 days ago)

Messi 91 GOALS in 2012
Play Video

was viewed 30809 times
(2583 days ago)




Copyright © 2004-2012 2Laugh.com - Humor and Jokes Portal. All Rights Reserved. Powered by Mantisoft.com | contact us | advertise with us | RSS