Joke - diet
LogoFusion.com - Creating your perfect logo
  • Back Home
  • New Jokes
  • Top Rated
  • The Index!
  • Newest Media
  • iTube - Hot Videos
  • Submit A Joke
 
Weekly Column by Jason Love

A collection of Standup video shows Cool and Funny T-Shirts This site is part of the Umbrella Duck Network! Our Experts will answer any Question! Try Us!

7 out of 5261 answered

 
Charts:

 Best Jokes
 Most Popular
 20 Best Writers
 Best Videos
 Best Flash
 Top Rated Comics

Games:

 Game Portal!

Comics :

 SnapshotsDaily
 Frenetic Wander...Daily
 New Comics

Weekly Columns:

 SoItGoes - Jason Love

Important Links:

 Our Poll Archive
 The Billy-Bob Show
 Forums
 Newest Videos
 Newest Flash Files
 Free Wallpapers
 Happy Tree Friends

Featured:

 UmbrellaDuck.net
 Linkook - Shorter URL's
 Biblical Hebrew Online
 Funny videos
 Learn Hebrew Phrase
 Karma Game

The BB Daily Show
click for the BillyBob daily show.



Categories :

 Blond
 All about sex
 Nature and Pets
 Bars, Pubs and Drunks
 Sports
 Real Life Laws
 Secret Diary
 Real Life Stories
 Special Lists
 Light Bulbs
 Doctors
 Wild-wild West
 Country and Farms
 FAQ and Riddles
 Couples and Family
 Biblical Times
 At Work
 Love!
 Computers
 Insults
 Sick Jokes
 On the Road / In the Air
 Fairy Tales and Angles
 Religion - Christianity
 Religion - Judaism
  All Categories

diet
SportsA guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your ass is mine."
He lost 63 pounds that week.

  was added by jay 3 years, 3271 days ago and was read 4,182 times

Please Rate:
Ranked 2.89 out of 5 smilies

Share with Others


More jokes in Sports
Random Joke
How to catch a polar bear:

Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond. Cut a large hole in the ice. Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file. Hide behind a nearby rock. When the bear comes up to take a pea, k...
Random Joke
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off.

"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"

"No sill...
IT's all GEEKZ to me
By Chaz Wood
IT‘s all GEEKZ to me - by Chaz Wood
”The Eternal Mystery“

Stan 'N' Isaac
By Jeff Swenson
Stan n Isaac - by Jeff Swenson
”Sensitive Bones“

bigger is better
”20 years of marriage“


funny comic strip in print
First Cynic Comic Strip
collection now in print.
Buy it now for
below retail.

Statistics
Joke Writers : 6853
Surfer Comments : 36568
Forum Messages : 42
Total Jokes : 19392
Waiting Jokes : 17908

 
Web
2Laugh.com



Add to Google

Add to Netvibes

Bookmark and Share

New Videos
iPad Air 2 Bend Test
Play Video

was viewed 40576 times
(2118 days ago)

Videos
Play Video

was viewed 34792 times
(2187 days ago)

Biggest Snakes in the World! SnakeBytesTV
Play Video

was viewed 36408 times
(2296 days ago)

Mission: Impurrrsible
Play Video

was viewed 30443 times
(2306 days ago)


Videos
Play Video

was viewed 26882 times
(2342 days ago)

Kitten Refuses to Leave Warm Bath!
Play Video

was viewed 22700 times
(2628 days ago)

Star Trek TNG Season 3 Gag Reel
Play Video

was viewed 37832 times
(2657 days ago)

Lily loves her treat
Play Video

was viewed 18480 times
(2770 days ago)

Messi 91 GOALS in 2012
Play Video

was viewed 37936 times
(2786 days ago)




Copyright © 2004-2012 2Laugh.com - Humor and Jokes Portal. All Rights Reserved. Powered by Mantisoft.com | contact us | advertise with us | RSS